This is the #OG status. Salted duck egg! Gonna pair it with my jook! #tbt #todayiate #food #asian #winter #home #jook #egg
Because Rivermill on #friday #friends #lol #goodtimes #bburg #yay #fst @courtenney @climbs4coffee @kaleitch @whynotkatie @spollard05
Can’t beat a good Friday night out with foodie friends at @622North! #friday #fun #beer #goodtimes #haha #beautiful #yooooo #fuzel #fst #bburg
I did have a few breakups I would qualify with, “I don’t mean ‘I can’t be bothered to figure out where things went wrong, I mean that she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder,” but for the most part, “crazy” meant “acting in a way I didn’t like.” I didn’t realize just how damaging this attitude was in the way I related to women.
By dismissing a woman’s behavior or concerns as crazy, we inadvertently take part in a behavior known as “gaslighting.” Named for the classic George Cukor movie, gaslighting is a term used by psychologists to describe abusive behavior where a person is made to feel as though their emotions and reactions are irrational, even (dare I say) crazy. By constantly minimizing and dismissing someone’s reactions, we make them feel uncomfortable with themselves and cause them to start to doubt their own feelings. If they’re being told over and over again that what they’re feeling is irrational or unreal, that what they’re feeling is somehow out of whack, then they start to accept that maybe it is.
Even when it’s not. Especially when it’s not.
Gaslighting — minimizing their feelings, reframing them as being unreasonable — is classic abusive behavior. It’s telling someone that they don’t have a right to the way they feel because what they’re feeling is wrong. Their feelings or their concerns or behavior isn’t “rational.” Once you take away their right to their feelings, it’s that much easier to manipulate a person into the way you want them to behave.
Labeling women as “crazy” is a way of controlling them. It may not be something planned or pre-meditated, but the ease with which men call women “crazy” says a lot about them. Calling a woman “crazy” is quick and easy shut-down to any discussion. Once the “crazy” card has been pulled out, women are now put on the defensive: The onus is no longer on the man to address her concerns or her issue; it’s on her to justify her behavior, to prove that she is not, in fact, crazy or irrational. Men don’t even have to provide any sort of argument back — it’s a classic catch-22: “The fact that you don’t even see that you’re acting crazy is just proof that it’s crazy.”
I have never been a romantic; this not only took me completely by surprise, but actually made me tear a bit. Thank you, Earl, for the first set of roses I’ve ever received! #roses #aww #flowers #pretty #fantastique